The deatheaters go trick or treating!
by Charmingly-Evil
Summary: What does a dark lord do when neighbours is finished and theres nothing to do? Go trick or treating! free candy! But what chaos happens with an insane bellatrix, madly in love draco, snape the pirate and well, hideous wormtail tag along. read to find out!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter _

Voldemort paced back and forth in the dark room of Malfoy manor. He was bored, bored, bored. Lets see, he could go torture some muggles? Naaaa he did that yesterday. The final season for home and away was finished and he had all ready watched Pride and Prejudice, something he would never admit to Severes. Well he could always go and listen to his new album, Brittany Spears he bought the other day. Oh wait, Bellatrix broke the CD Player. He sighed. I know, he thought. He would call Severes and ask him if there was anything to do. Voldemort called Severes and he came in.

"Yes my lord?"

"Severs I am bored, do you know if there is anything to do?"

Severs looked thoughtful.

" Well, Shrek is on tonight."

Voldemort looked shocked.

"Shrek? I can't watch that, it is too scary. What with the talking donkey and ogre, not to mention I'm allergic to cats."

"Well Halloween is tonight my lord. It is where all the muggles go out and get free candy. Just by dressing up in a costume."

Voldemort ears perked up.

"Free candy you say? Then what are we waiting for? We shall leave at once with Wormtail and Draco."

Soon Wormtail and Draco had gathered together with Voldemort and Severs wondering why they were there.

"My lord, could this be quick?" Draco asked. "Only that I am half way baking some brownies."

"No Draco it can not, tonight we are going out for a muggle tradition of Halloween. Now no one is to mention this to Bellatrix, no way in hell do I want _her_ to come with…"

Suddenly the door burst open and Bellatrix came flying in. she jumped on the table and waved her wand around.

"Youuuuuuuuuu hooooooooo! Somebody call me?"

"Speak of the bitch and she shall be here," Voldemort muttered under his breath.

Bellatrix took out a bottle of sunscreen and squirted it into her hair.

"Um Bellatrix, why are you applying sunscreen in your hair?" Wormtail asked.

Bellatrix rolled her eyes at him as if I were obvious.

"_Because _uglyrat face, it gets rid of your frizzes, everyone knew that."

" Mental," Severs muttered.

In a flash Bellatrix's head turned to him.

" I am not insane! Crucio!"

Severs fell to the floor as she laughed insanely at him. The spell was lifted and Voldemort gave a sigh.

"Must we go threw this _every_ meeting I have?"

Bellatrix turned to Voldemort.

"Oh my Voldy Moldy! I didn't see you my love. Why didn't you call me to your meeting?"

"_Because _Bellatrix, I didn't want you here."

She laughed.

"Oh your sooo funny Voldidikins! But that's why I love you."

And with that she threw her arms around him.

"Get off me!"

He pushed her away and she fell down giggling. Voldemort ignored her and went back to serious business.

" Now Halloween is tonight and we must come dressed as the most scariest gruesome monsters. It is a muggle tradition where we get, no wait for it… FREE CANDY!" the deatheaters whooped and cheered when he said this. "So we shall meet back here in fifteen minutes in costumes."

Draco groaned.

" But my lord, I have a date tonight. We were going to go…"

But Voldemort cut him off.

"Now Draco, wouldn't you rather spend time with _us _then with a girl?"

"Not really."

"Silence! You are coming with us weather you like it or not."

The deatheaters left and fifteen minutes later they were in the room. Wormtail couldn't find a costume but was reassured by Severes that he didn't need one his face was scary enough. Severes put an eye patch on and claimed he was a pirate, Draco was dressed as a zombie and Bellatrix was dressed as Brittany Spears.

"But that's not scary!"

Bellatrix frowned at Draco's remark.

"Her singing is enough to scare anyone!"

But Voldemort wasn't there. Then they heard his voice from behind the door.

"Now my fellow friends, what I am is the most terrifying thing ever. You better hold yourself for the most frightening, scariest and gruesome costume ever!"

Voldemort stepped out in white makeup, big red shoes, baggy pants and a red nose. He was a clown. The deatheaters burst out laughing and he frowned at them.

"A _clown! _That's not scary!"

" You may think that Severes but you never had one tip seltzer down your pants when you were five!"

Wormtail looked puzzled.

"My lord why…"

"Don't ask. Now are we all ready to go?"

The deatheaters all held up there plastic bags. Voldemort scanned their outfits.

"Good job Draco, yes wormtail you are quite scary with out the costume."

He beamed up at him.

"Thank you m lord."

"That wasn't a compliment. Ahhh a Goth Severes, very nice."

He frowned.

"I'm a pirate."

"Oh? And Bellatrix, how is Brittany Spears scary?"

"Well her singing is horrible!"

Voldemort eyes bulged and he fumed.

"You did not just diss Brittany Spears! She is awesome! With the whole 'Opps I did it again! I played with…"

But all the deatheaters were covering their ears.

"Please my lord!"

"Fine! Ok, lets go."

_Hey every1 who read this. So I was on my computer n felt like writing this! Did u like it? Yes? No? plz review or Bellatrix shall madly torture u into insanity!_


	2. Honey, this is my er family

Draco sighed with frustration. He could _not_ believe that he was missing his date for _this. _The deatheaters, aka his wonderful family were crowded around him in there Halloween costumes, outside Mrs. Lovett's houses holding there bags ( wormatils was a care bear bag and voldemorts was a high school musical one) both looking eager. Draco had been standing there for ten minutes trying to explain to them what they do for Halloween to access the treats, but they still did not get it.

" For the hundred and twentieth time you go up to the door, knock on it and say trick or treat. The lady will open the door, give you the candy and you leave."

Bellatrix's eyes grew wide.

" Then we torture them and kill them, riiight my little Draco?"

Draco tried to remain calm.

" No auntie I told you, no torturing or killing tonight."

Voldemort however frowned.

" And if they are to refuse?"

Bellatrix raised her hand eagerly in the air.

" OH! OH! _Then _we torture them into insanity! Right? Right?" she squealed jumping on the tips of her toes.

" No auntie!" Draco shouted. " there will be no torturing or killing tonight!!!"

He stopped as he saw to little kids walk past him slightly scared. Bellatrix pouted her lips.

" Well you didn't have to yell, you know that's not good for you. You can go crazy yelling all the time."

" Your one to speak", Draco muttered.

" I am still confused," Wormtail said speaking up. " Those two magic words allow us to free candy?"

" Yes, look lets just ring the doorbell."

He gestured the crew to the door and nervously they approached it and knocked.

" Trick or treat!" they chanted.

" An elderly lady with white curls and in her dressing gown opened the door with a huge smile.

" Why, what lovely monsters do we have here?"

She scanned them.

" Ah yes, a goth."

" Pirate" Severus muttered.

" Brittany spears, now I quite like her music. Dear me a clown, well I was always found them amusing. And....AHHHHHH!!!!"

She threw up her hands and ran away. Voldemort turned to see what had frightened her and saw wormtail standing there looking innocent.

" Wormtail, look what you have done! You scared her away with your face, now we have no candy!"

" Yes, you vermin, crucio!"

Bellatrix cursed him and he withered in the floor in pain. She lifted the spell and Draco sighed.

" Ok, well we were bound too fail once. Let's try another house. The deatheaters followed him to the next house and they all lined up. ( Voldemort had made sure that wormtail wore a mask this time.)

" Trick or treat."

Just then a middle aged mother opened the door with a bowl of lollies Bellatrix raised her wand and screamed

" CRUCiO!!"

The lady screamed and fell to the floor withering in pain. Bellatrix clapped her hands and jumped at her pain. Voldemort sighed, he should have been expecting this.

" Aunty no!"

Bellatrix turned to draco confused.

" We're not supposed to torture the muggles like mini longbottoms?"

Draco shook his head franticly.

" No aunty, NO torturing and no killing."

Bella sighed then lifted the spell. Meanwhile Voldemort was happily feeling his bag with the candy. Wormtail looked up hopefully.

" Um, my lord? May I please have some?"

Voldemort casted Wormtail a look and hugged his bag.

" NO! It's my candy! Mine!"

Draco ran his fingers through his blond hair. He did not need this right now. He could be on a date with Lisa, instead he was stuck with a bunch of wackos on Halloween. Suddenly he heard his name. He turned to see Lisa walking towards him. Panicking Draco quickly pushed his family into a nearby bush and went over to see her.

" Lisa, hi!"

She gave him a smile.

" Hi Draco, what are you doing here? I thought you said you were busy."

Draco looked nervously into the bush and scratched his back uncomfortably.

" Well, ok. I had to take my family trick or treating, I'm really sorry we couldn't go..."

But she looked delighted.

" Oh Draco that's so sweet your taking them trick or treating! Through they may be slightly old for it. Can I meet them?"

Draco looked nervous.

" Uh, I really don't think...."

Just then as always on cue, Bellatrix came flying through the bush, her frizzy hair tangled with leaves; she shook her head and a bird flew out of it.

" Draco, who is this? Is she your girrrrrrlfriend?"

Draco buried his head in his hands.

" Aunty, please don't do this to me."

Lisa smiled sweetly and took out her hand.

" I'm Lisa. Draco's girlfriend. He hasn't told me much about you."

Bellatrix stared at Lisa then started to skip around.

" Draco's got a girlfriend! Draco's got a girlfriend!!! Draco and Lisa sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!"

Draco groaned and Lisa looked confused at her immaturity. Just then Voldemort came in wiping his robes to get the leaves off then spotted them.

" Draco,who is this?"

Draco sighed.

" My girlfriend."

Voldemort took out his bony hand and shook hers.

" I am lord Voldemort, the most feared wizard in the world. And the most handsomest, like Johnny Depp himself."

Luckily for Draco a small wine interrupted him. Voldemort turned and saw wormtail running up to him covered in egg yolk. Lisa turned to Draco.

" Who are theses people?"

" Uh, close friend of my dads. They kinda work with him."

Voldemort sighed and turned to Wormtail.

" What is it?"

" Well some kids came up and attacked me with eggs. Then they accused me of farting!"

Voldemort sighed and rolled his eyes.

" So I accused them of farting, then they said smelt it dealt it."

Voldemort raised his eyebrows.

" Then did you say, " say the rhyme did the crime?"

Wormtail scrunched up his forehead.

" Didn't think of that."

" Well, that's the obvious thing to say!"

Just then Snape came in a more sour face then usual.

" My lord, I was just accused of passing on boy germs. I was highly insulted, can we please get out of this filthy muggle infested town soon?"

He saw Lisa and she smiled.

" What's a muggle? By the way I'm Lisa Draco's girlfriend."

Before he could reply there was a piercing screech and everyone turned to see Bellatrix standing on a car shacking her hips with her bag of candy flying everywhere.

" Opps I did it again! I played with your heart! Got lost in the game, oh baby baby!"

" Hey it's Brittany spears!"

Someone yelled.

" Did Bellatrix forget to take her medication?" Voldemort asked.

Draco sighed.

" Nup, she's just had to much candy."

Bellatrix stuck her hand put and the other hand on her hip.

" I'm a little tea cup short and stout, here is my handle here is my spout."

Voldemort quickly raced over an picked Bellatrix up over his shoulders.

" Tim to go home crazy."

There was another wine.

" Ugh, what now?"

Wormtail sat there crying in the spot.

" Master, someone's stolen my candy!"

Voldemort sighed.

" FIne."

Still carrying Bellatrix he went over to the boys playing in the corner.

" Now I understand that you have stolen my friends lollies. I Lord Voldemort most feared wizard here and i order you to hand it back, you have till midnight. Wait, snow white is on tonight. Can't miss it. You have five minutes to hand it back."

The boys stared at him for a few seconds then burst out laughing.

' Bald!"

Voldemort faced grew red.

" I am not...! It's just..."

" Ugly!" they screamed.

Tears came to Voldemort. He turned to Snape.

" Snape you do this!"

Snape sighed and went over. He took wormtail with him and removed his mask. The boys screamed when they saw him and scuttled off.

" Happy now wormtail?"

Wormtail nodded and gathered up his candy. Bellatrix was still laughing madly as she started to sing nighty nine bottles of crucioed muggles on the wall. Voldemort turned to Snape and wormtail, Bellatrix still on his shoulder.

" Now everyone, I think we have suffered enough of this night. Let us go home and plot new ways to kill harry potter!"

Everyone cheered and Voldemort called a taxi. They all hopped in and Snape whispered

" Um my lord, why did we just not apperate?"

" Because Snape, uh....shut up!"

The deatheaters rode in silence in the rest of the journey; all this time Lisa and Draco were watching them.

"Well," Lisa said. " Um, what a charming family."

Draco grimaced and nodded.

" Yep, there one of a kind."

Draco looked into Lisa's eyes and she stared back, slowly there faces came forward, closer...closer.....

" BEEP BEEP!"

They quickly looked up and saw Voldemort beeping the taxi car from the back seat.

" Come on Draco!"

Draco looked nervously at Lisa.

" Um, yes I should go. Bye."

She smiled at him and waved. Bellatrix gave another laugh.

" Draco's got a girlfriend!"

Draco hoped into he car, what an embarrassing night.

Lol hey sorry 4 the late update! Yea this is the final chapter, hope it wan't 2 bad. So wad ya think? Good? Bad? Terrible writting? Hilarious! Plz leave a review or voldemort n bellatrix will turn up in ur house, demanding ur lollies n 2 crucio u. Thanx 4 reading!


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